Calling all heroes:

I need your help for an important mission. Today, on Strathmore, I intercepted an extremely suspicious message. A disturbing message. A threatening message. A message that could be considered an act of high treason by any reasonable person.

The conversation ran as follows:

Man #1: “…yeah, they just put way too much guacamole.”
Man #2: “Totally.”

Are you getting this? Do you copy, soldier? This is asinine. As for me, I’ve gone into a catatonic state of outrage. If you are still standing, and you are still reading this, then this is your call to action. We have encountered public enemy number one: these men must be found and detained. May the mighty wrath of the ever-illusive El Niño come swiftly upon them.

You can make a difference here, UCLA. Standing up for pressing issues such as this not only makes UCLA a better place, but it gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling that you get when you’ve done a good thing, like the one you have when you get your Capri Sun straw stabbed into the pouch on the first try or when you take your pants off at the end of the day. But you know what enriches my life even more than the vital quest to protect and preserve the sanctity of the avocado? Greek Crossing.

(Zing! Flawless transition. Serious time.)

Friday nights on odd weeks are a breath of fresh air amidst a literal bubble of smog. Sometimes, it may seem like people are too busy to even think about how they’re actually doing besides “good.” If you’re lucky, you might have an earth-shattering heart-to-heart, where someone will confess they’ve been feeling “busy” or “stressed” or “tired.” If you’re looking for more depth of conversation and more purpose to relationships, Greek Crossing is an awesome place to start.

We gather every other week to hang out, talk about spiritual things, explore the best-selling book of all time (the Bible), learn about who Jesus is, and discuss what Christianity is really all about. Also, there are cookies; so, if none of those other things sound appealing to you, we still have sugar. Bonus: this week we’ll be hearing from Jared Pickerell, so that’ll be super dope.

Even if you’ve never been, we’d still love to have you. Even if you have a lot of doubts and questions, we’d still love to have you.

Even if you are now a wanted man because you hate everything that is good (i.e. guac)—you are still welcome. As long as you apologize. To the entirety of the human race. Just kidding. Mostly.